Musings of a Lover
by Pandora of Ithilien
Summary: Different Star Wars characters think about their significant others (song fic style) Will include AnakinPadme, HanLeia, LukeMara (when I read Vision of the Future) and possible others as I learn of them.
1. Padme

Disclaimer: Star Wars belongs to George Lucas and the song Taking Over Me belongs to the band Evanescence. I'm only borrowing them.

Padme thinks of Anakin/Vader: near the end of Episode 3

_You don't remember me_

_But I remember you_

She knew he was gone, not dead but close to it. His past – and she – no longer meant anything to him.

_I lie awake and try so hard not to think of you_

She hated to remember it, to recall the love they had once shared. Worse, she knew that their love had destroyed them both – taking the galaxy with them.

_But who can decide what they dream_

_And dream I do_

He haunted her at night when she slept. Each time her babies moved within her, their father returned to her mind. It hurt so bad and she couldn't stop it.

_I believe in you_

_I'll give up everything just to find you_

_I have to be with you_

_To live, to breathe_

_You're taking over me_

She had to believe he would come back one day. Her Ani couldn't be completely lost within that mechanical monster. He just _couldn't._

_Have you forgotten all I know?_

_And all we had?_

_You saw me mourning my love for you_

_And touched my hand_

_I knew you loved me then_

She asked him things in dreams. The questions swirled in her head – Our wedding was wonderful, do you remember? We held hands and whispered our vows as the scent of dying roses filled the air. Even Tatooine and the Tuskens meant little then. Love conquered all and I had no fears. Did you?

_I look in the mirror and see your face_

_If I look deep enough_

_So many things inside_

_That are just like you are_

_Taking over me_

As the pain of giving birth engulfed her, Padme knew she'd die giving life to her children – Anakin's children. Luke and Leia were the hope of the galaxy. She knew that, but the pain was unbearable. "Anakin!" she screamed, anguished.

_I believe in you_

_I'll give up everything just to find you_

_I have to be with you_

_To live, to breathe_

_You're taking over me_

Padme held her babies in her arms, crooning softly to them. Her handmaiden took the children and put them in cradles. Padme sighed. The last of her strength was gone and she could hold on no longer. She trusted in Obi–Wan's ability to find safe, loving homes for Luke and Leia. As her breath stilled, Padme had time for a final thought – Ani, I never stopped being your angel. I'll wait for you! – before she slipped into eternal darkness. At that moment, Anakin felt her pass and Vader was truly born. Obi–Wan walked into Padme's bedroom to find her dead and her children screaming. Every year on that day for 18 years, a Tatooine farm boy and an Alderaanian princess went off to cry alone, not knowing either why or that another cried with them.


	2. Anakin

Disclaimer: Star Wars belongs to George Lucas and the song Spend Another Night belongs to Billy Gilman.

Anakin muses on Padme while watching her sleep after the wedding in Episode 2.

_I instantly knew_

_When I saw you _

_You and I would be forever_

Are you an angel? It was the first thing I ever said to you. I don't know why I bothered to ask, because I already knew you were one. I also knew I'd marry you one day and told you so. You didn't believe me. But look, Padme, here we are, married. I told you.

_Hearts never apart_

_True from the start_

_To each other and together_

I loved you from the moment you stepped into Watto's shop. For ten long years, I carried my memories of you with me. Not one day passed where you didn't cross my mind. I always knew we'd meet again, but I missed you so much. I remembered how you comforted me on the cruiser that night, despite your own pain. I can still clearly recall the faint perfume on the cloak you covered me with.

_There's nothing we can't do_

_And until the end of time _

_If you tell me you'll be mine_

We make a pretty good team, you know. When the Council forbade me to help Obi-Wan, you saw a way around it. During the Battle of Geonosis, we were comrades-in-arms and it worked. Now I know that if we try, we can survive anything.

_I'm never gonna spend another night_

_Without you in my dreams_

_For the rest of my life_

_I'm gonna reach out to you honestly and try_

_To give you what you need_

_With all of my mind_

_'Cause nothing has ever felt_

_So real and so right_

_So I'm never gonna spend another night_

_Without you in my dreams_

I don't care about the rules. I don't care about the Code. It's not important anymore. All that matters to me is you. I knew when I saw you again, when I learned how much danger you were in, that I'd rather die than see you harmed. I've never felt so strongly about anyone before, until you.

_You are so in my heart_

_Even alone in the dark_

_I can feel the light of our love shining_

You kept me sane when Mom died. When I thought I'd go mad with grief and fury, you comforted me once again, despite the terrible thing I'd done to the Tuskens. Your presence soothes me, makes me a better man, a better Jedi.

_We are so meant to be_

_That we are definitely_

_Destiny_

_And there's no denying _

_That I love you _

_Though it's so cliché_

_There's nothing else to say_

I know this is wrong according to the Code, but I disagree. I feel as though this was... _meant_ to happen, despite the obstacles in our way. The way I feel...I can't describe it, not how I'd like to. When you said you loved me, my world seemed so perfect, so right – well, except for the fact that we'd been slated for execution, but at that moment, our sentence was merely an insignificant annoyance.

_I'm never gonna spend another night_

_Without you in my dreams_

_I'm never gonna spend another night_

I promise, love, I'll always be there for you. If I can't stand by you, I'll use the Force to be with you. As long as I'm living, you'll be safe. I swear, Padme, I'll never let you down!

A/N: And as we all know, he broke that promise. Oh, sorry I took so long. I had an early Ep2 thing going with Clay Aiken's song Invisible, but Anakin was so whiny, I couldn't write anymore, so I switched the song, started over, and was done in no time. Just goes to show, if at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Watch out for updates!


	3. Mara

Disclaimer: Mara belongs to Timothy Zahn, and the song You Found Me belongs to Kelly Clarkson, Kara DioGuardi, and John Shanks

Mara's thoughts on Luke right after VOTF

_Is this a dream?_

_If it is_

_Please don't wake me from this high_

Life is so strange. I started out wanting to kill you, and now I'm going to marry you. It all feels so surreal. And yet...it all feels right.

_I'd become _

_Comfortably numb_

_Until you opened up my eyes_

_To what it's like _

_When everything's right_

_Oh, I can't believe_

I've always tried to control my emotions. As the Emperor's Hand, feelings got in my way, stopped me from doing my job. Later, it just seemed simpler, easier, to cut myself off. But you never let me do that, did you, Luke? Always trying to get through my defenses.

_You found me_

_When no one else was looking_

_How did you know_

_Just where I would be?_

_Yeah, you broke through_

_All of my confusion_

_The ups and the downs_

_And you still didn't leave _

_I guess that you saw what nobody could see_

_You found me_

Why didn't you ever give up? Force knows I did all I could to get rid of you. Even when I meant to kill you, you befriended me, taught me. I thought you were nuts and a terrible idealist. But you saw something in me. I don't know what, but I know you. You found something no one else had, and so you ignored everything else.

_So here we are _

_And that's pretty far_

_When you think of where we've been_

You scared me for a while there, dabbling in the dark side, playing fast and easy with your power. I thought you'd turn for sure. Maybe I underestimated you, or maybe I was overreacting. And then there's me. I never wanted to be a full Jedi. I thought it asked too much of me. We both screwed up, I guess.

_No going back_

_I'm fading out_

_All that has faded me within_

I may have to kill Karrde if he keeps giving me those 'I told you so' looks. Nah, I won't bother. Although, if Solo keeps doing the same thing, you may need to restrain me. Hey, I'm not completely reformed yet. I am trying, though.

_You're by my side_

_Now everything's fine_

_Now I can believe it_

Surreal, but so right. Makes sense. After all, has anything ever been simple between us? I mean, really. We fell in love while fighting for our lives on a distant planet. Before that, I had to kill your clone to stop hating you and shut the voice in my head up for good. Talk about complicated.

_I was hiding _

_Till you came along_

_And showed me where I belonged_

So patient. You nudged and you prodded, but you never pushed hard. I guess you wanted me to find my way without being forced to. Well, I did. I found where I was meant to be, and as it turns out, you're where I should be. Never would've guessed it.

_I guess that you saw_

_What nobody could see _

_The good and the bad_

_And the things in between_

_You found me_

It's all because you're an idealistic farmboy. That's why you bothered to look past my defenses to find the true me, someone I didn't even know was there. So, now, we just follow this, and see what happens. Somehow, I think it'll be okay.

A/N: Yeah, I skipped Leia and Han, but this has been bumping around in my brain for a while. I'll get to the others...eventually.


End file.
